my sister

i am thinking hard about my sister... sending her all the strength i can. she has been in icu since jan 6 and its been a rough, up and down, trail. i think about living with the idea of our mortality. we all will die. this moment is what we have.

cheryl has had such a hard life. i won't go into it but through it all we have remained close. we are closest in age... she is 3 years younger than me. i am the oldest of four. she is the one that holds all of my childhood memories from traumas to joy. the others were too young.

there are so many things calling my attention. i have still not finished organizing the last few bits of my sewing studio. i have signed up for jude's new advanced boro class and haven't even checked in yet. and there are all the normal things i do in my life, exercising, housework, the dishes...always the dishes. but i am slacking. things are piling up... i am spending hours on the phone checking her status and talking to my other sisters keeping everyone up to date. and crying a lot in while stacking the dishes. tears are cleansing after all.

this is not the normal post but i wanted to share and ask, if you are inclined, to send healing thoughts our way.

namaste

a sheltering sky

there are so many times when i look up at the sky and it has changed to a new image... yesterday the sky was like that. big sweeping clouds... sweeping away all the old and bringing in the new. just like in my life.

there have been a lot of changes going on this year. for one, my youngest son moved back to portland last january after a serious back injury on his job. he is really doing well after a year of therapy but recently he has found it necessary to move into our home. i have given him my old sewing room as it was the largest room and where he would be the most comfortable; it would also afford all of us the most privacy. we are all pretty easy going and so far this has been really nice... especially now that we are almost through with the big move.

moving into a smaller room gave me the chance to get more organized. i stored some things but i reduced a lot too. it made me become conscious of which things i wanted to devote my time to. it all comes at a good time.

new years is a time i like to reflect a bit. am i living the life i mean to live? sometimes i forget to ask myself if things fit in the larger plan and just let things happen. but at this time of year, i like to examine a bit just to keep myself from getting too far off the track. i tend to try to do too much and this past year i really tried to not get too distracted. i am pretty happy with the way things played out. for the most part, my new activities support my creative life. i started a blog, i joined the board of our fiber arts guild and i took several classes that furthers my arts.

i question about this blog, however.... i started it just to keep a record of what is happening in my creative life. but i see that i have limited it mostly to photography and stitching and haven't shown as much of that as i could. i get wrapped up in a project and off i go... forgetting to blog about it or not feeling like i have time. i think i need a more organized approach to blogging. i am thinking this new room will be good for that because now i am on the same level as everything else and though i will not have as much seclusion, i think all in all it will be good. i use a lap top... and it seemed last year it was never where i was. if i was downstairs stitching and wanted to photograph and post, the computer or the camera was upstairs. not that its so difficult to go fetch...but its more opportunity for me to get distracted. (just one example) so i am thinking fewer steps might mean fewer distractions. did i mention that i am a gemini?

well, as is quoted on jude's blog...hey ho... and off we go under our sheltering sky.

thank you to everyone who stops by here, keeping the faith that eventually something will appear. i enjoy that you leave such wonderful and encouraging comments. its nice to know i am not here alone! i do want to wish everyone of you a happy new year. may you be of good health and cheer all the year long with plenty of time for creativity.

namaste!

encaustic... a process explained

encaustic is basically using hot bees wax to cover a foundation. what i did in judy's class was learn the basic technique and then some different techniques to add or embellish. we started with a board. you could use a stretched canvas, some people have put encaustic into their journals. once you have chosen your base, you can choose to paint it or not. i used acrylics to paint my backgrounds, then i did a collage with photos i have taken, glueing them down securely. then i put on the first layer of hot 160* wax. after the wax sets, you can use a blow torch or a heat gun to set the wax. it melts a little and rids the surface of brush marks. its a technique that needs practice to not get the wax too hot and to be certain to cover the entire area. then you can do a number of techniques, by scratching the surface or intaglio, then adding another layer of wax and heat setting it again. or a stencil, gold leaf, shellac, adding a tissue image, or burnishing a reverse transfer . there are so many techniques and combinations... but each time you add wax you must heat set it again. another process is painting with hot wax... you can use pure pigments or oil paints or pre-colored wax blocks to color the wax... the trick is to take small brush strokes since you can only paint while the wax remains hot. after every little bit you should stop and heat set it. this is the exercise i found to be the most difficult. if you go to judy"s website http://judywise.blogspot.com/ to the dec 13 post... the heads that are shown were done with hot wax... we were told to turn our sample upside down and copy it that way. i am not good at drawing and this method seems to make it possible to achieve some what of a likeness. i'm sorry i didn't explain the process in the beginning. it really has nothing to do with stitch ... i just have to do something different once in awhile to soothe my gemini nature.

from judy's class

here are two of the images i did... wow, i really love this process. i finally know what to do with my photographs! there are so many little things to learn... its not just painting with wax... you get to play with fire too! you can go to judy's website and see more. http://judywise.blogspot.com/

playtime at judy's

i took an encaustic workshop this weekend. it was a spur of the moment decision and it was just what i needed. i filled up all three of my jars! judy is one of the most wonderful and generous teachers ever. i am new to encaustic but i am convinced now that i need a set up which will include an old electric frying pan and griddle and a little corner somewhere so i can melt wax. i haven't shot my work yet... so i will show it later... but here is sweet judy in her studio. its really a fun place where she encourages us to play!

tj, the wizard of photography

signed sealed delivered! wow... what a great experience. i loved making this piece...though my hands are a bit worse for wear. that photo fabric is really woven very tightly and this piece is all hand quilted. i loved putting the photos together and i want to do more of that. i will try it with my own fabric and bubble jet next time. i was in a hurry to get this one done so it wasn't an option. here is the info if any of you are in the portland area and want to go... its a lovely space. and the pieces that were being hung when i was there were really good. this will be an interesting show. so you can get a feel for what's going on here, i included an artists statement at the end.

'Spread Ego'
organized for PLACE by TJ Norris

Pioneer Place Mall / 3rd Floor
700 SW Fifth Avenue

December 4, 2010 - January 31, 2011
Opening Reception 12/18, 5-8PM
Gallery Hours: Wed-Sat 12-6PM

artist statement:

“A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose denominator is what he thinks of himself. The

larger the denominator the smaller the fraction.” - Leo Tolstoy

SPREAD EGO

Is it really possible to feed the ego?

I’m a difficult subject. The whole notion of posing really makes me uncomfortable, silly. In years past I’ve

referred to myself as ‘an acquired taste’ to potential suitors– often allowing adequate time for pause. As a

maker I’m almost exclusively behind the lens of the camera, often shooting the inanimate -- poised

outside the frame. Though this frame is self-defined. Perhaps pieces of my personality may surface in the

work over time, but the viewer would have to be a master decoder to decrypt my soul as its ticking.

“If you want to know all about Andy Warhol, just look at the surface of my paintings and films and me, and there I am.

There's nothing behind it.” - Andy Warhol

The reluctant subject: In this piece it was hard to initially imagine dozens of images of myself made by the

hands of fellow artists, all to be hung staring out into a single space. If anything this project is something

of an inversion on the subject, or rather, an anti-self-portrait -- less about me the person, less about the

history of portraiture on the grande scale and more about all its supple implications. But there’s a baseline

here, one of absurdity and of allowance -- and my penchant to allow certain curatorial sensibilities to take

over guiding this course to search and find a more critical role (super-ego) to unleash such a dialogue.

And for this I’m honored that a large handful of artists were willing to create portraits of me to be shown

collectively, to breathe a collective voice (or sigh as it were). And if I told you the thought of seeing these

amassed will make me blush would you believe me?

“The higher we soar, the smaller we seem to those who cannot fly.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Did you know that the possible derivation for the word narcissus could mean sleep or numbness? There

is a lot of myth and fallacy around what constitutes ones ego, in particular the artist’s ego. It is from the

deep self in which one projects the core of their being through a physical/tangible medium. It’s the

impression of others that becomes the public eye. Through the history of the artists’ gaze many have

been portrayed in their best light, classically commissioned for court portraiture. But this idealism speaks

as loudly as the flat surface. You cannot buy your own self image, it’s often handed back to you, and not

always on a platter.

“There used to be a me behind the mask, but I had it surgically removed.” - Peter Sellers

Over the last three decades of studio work I have discovered that there is this innate sense to just let fate

take place, and allow the self to be substituted for outside intervention. To let things dry and meld with the

elements. What I am most interested in emerging in ‘Spread Ego’ is a sense of letting go of my own

image to a sense of trust, acceptance, perspective and gaze. In these works artists are fully allowed

license to fill certain gaps, flaws included. As I age my body changes and things find settle and disruption.

‘Spread Ego’ incites and embraces that change. It reminds me of the posturing in the Grace Jones song

“I’m Not Perfect, But I’m Perfect For You”. A time-based reality check.

TJ Norris

December 2010

work in process

i've been working on three pieces simultaneously... this one is a spur of the moment decision to be part of tj norris's show... there remains some revisions and some needle work but it is on the last stretch ... its due to be hung no later than saturday. since i haven't posted in awhile, i thought i would at least give a glimpse as to why!